This autumn I’ve found myself in a deeply introspective place. After a joyous summer in Chicago with my family, I found my return to my sweet home in Barcelona to be rather bittersweet, leaving me wondering if it was time to close my chapter as an expat and return home.

This playlist reflects this pensive state with more chill and slow songs than what you’ll typically find in my seasonal playlists.

The journey begins with The Feeling I Get From You by Jamie XX. It’s a softer dance track with a somber undertone carried by its piano melody. As the piano slowly crescendos throughout the song, I sense an invitation to feel all of my emotions, whatever they may be in that moment. To me, this piano represents an opportunity to connect within.

As I found myself questioning my relationship with Barcelona, I found myself on a deep Catalan music kick. This Catalan binge was largely thanks to my discovery of Selva Nua, an indie pop band from Barcelona. Two of their songs absolutely captivated me: No m’és is a smooth Catalan indie pop track with a strong bassline and sultry vocals, and Momentània is an emotive piece that causes me to gush with love and appreciation for the past 6 years I’ve spent living in Barcelona.

The Great Escape by Volen Sentir is an absolutely stunning progressive house that lends itself well to an auditory escape. I frequently found myself closing my eyes to this song and allowing my imagination to whisk me off to a Caribbean beach with the synthy string.

But it wasn’t all emotive slow tracks for me this season - after all, a girl’s gotta dance. Two classic disco tracks ended up on my playlist thanks to Kirollus always sharing the IDs of his vinyl sets. The Real Thing by The Brother Johnson and Funtime by Peaches & Herb were exactly what the doctor ordered when I needed a little boogie in my room. Both songs allowed me to create a private little ‘70s disco vibe in the comfort of my home.

Euro Trash by North 90 was a track I managed to dust up from a Palms Trax set at Apolo in the spring. Forever a sucker for a piano riff, this song was made to offer a second wind up to the dance floor in the wee hours of the morning when it seems like people are losing steam.

This season of deliberation was challenging but thanks to the emotional support of the tracks in this playlist, I was able to come to the conclusion that I am ready to return to the US to spend a chapter closer to my family. Now to see which winter tracks will help me embrace this decision!